Uh Oh

Sometimes I can't help myself from shredding a fresh roll of toilet paper.

Cowering after being scolded for my misdeed.
It was so worth it.

Doing what I do best,
Franny

Watch Dog

I don't know if you know this, but I'm a highly trained Watch Dog. If I see, hear, or smell anything suspicious, I sound the alarm and warn Ellie and Margot. Together, we let Nina know when there's trouble nearby. Even though I'm smaller than other dogs, my voice can be just as deep and loud as a big dog's.

Here I am, looking out and listening for trouble.

I always bark to let Nina know when I hear something suspicious, like when someone's ringing our doorbell, knocking on our door, slamming their car door, yelling, or when another dog is barking.

After a long, hard day's work, I take a much needed snooze.

Good thing my services are free. Otherwise, Nina would be broke.

Barking not biting,
Franny

I'm Not Dead

What happened to you? Where did you go?
Nothing. Nowhere.

What were you doing? Why weren't you blogging?
Nothing. No reason.

What really happened to us? I guess we were hibernating*. And it sucked! I suddenly became just an ordinary dachshund. (like Margot). I became depressed. I felt like I was dead to the world... but not anymore.

I would like to announce that from this day forward, Doxiementary shall commence blogging at the same rate of yesteryear.

with love,

Frandoo

*hi-ber-nate (verb): in the winter months, when a human becomes too lazy to blog for their beloved pet; borderline animal cruelty

Beware of the Frandoo

The Frandoo is most commonly known as a mythical creature... It looks like a dachshund but with a hunger... A hunger for love. These never before seen photos prove that the Frandoo exists, swiftly and mercilessly smothering those with kisses who cross it's path.






Beware.

Yummy Squirrel

I've never eaten a squirrel before but I often dream about doing so. I imagine they'd taste really good... maybe even better than the stale french fries I find under the car seat!

I've encountered many a squirrel. They're evil little things! Remember this incident?! It's as if it were just yesterday...

This is how I view squirrels.

This is what I would request for my last meal on this earth.

This is the closest I've ever come to eating a squirrel.

Yum!

... and I will eat you!

Is that all? Good things never last...

Squirrelly about squirrels,
Franny

Sunny Florida - Part II

Back home in Northern California, whenever we go to the beach, we are really visiting the "Pacific Ocean". The "Pacific Ocean" water is super salty and murky and green or sometimes brown... It's actually kind of dirty and I always have fun running away from the waves. Where Pony lives in Florida, the beaches are part of something called the "Atlantic Ocean". I've heard it's big and scary, but the water was clean and clear and the day was nice and hot.

Hello, Atlantic Ocean!

It didn't seem too bad but I decided to keep my distance...

That is, until Nina scooped me up and decided she'd give me an impromtu swimming lesson!

These legs were not made for swimming!

I guess only responsible Dachshund owners buy their doxies life vests for swimming.

They let me go and I flipped over like a hot dog in water! What did they expect? This is me being plucked from the water after my body capsized.

Ahh, much better...

I decided I'd admire the ocean from a safe distance... And run away from Nina if she came anywhere near me.

I wonder if there are any gophers in Florida...

Florida, you're not so bad. I think I like you very much.

Hot dog,
Franny

Sitting

This past week Nina and I were left in charge of "sitting" on some bunnies, a house, and two Yorkies. At least, that's what Nina called it... She's not really the brightest angler fish in the sea, because we didn't sit on any of those things. What we did do was sleepover at Max & Ari's house while their Mom and Dad were away on vacation.

Okay everybody! Listen up! I'm in charge now and it's time to get wild!

Max & Ari say its party time!

Time to jam to some Mozart and Beethoven!


Paws down, the best sleepover party ever.

Max & Ari are soooo lucky because they have two bunnies! Two tasty, tasty bunnies.

Oh my dog, you are so cute, I could just eat you up! With butter!

Has anyone ever told you that you smell good? Because you do, bunny. Real good.

If I could just reach you... give you a kiss with my teeth...


Bars and small, furry creatures are synonymous in my world. Someone up there hates me.

In the end, Nina wouldn't let me outside. She said I was harassing the bunnies... and she couldn't stand hearing me shriek like a banshee.

This is my plump friend, Thumper.

And the delicious Snow White.

I'm the fairest in this land,
Franny

Squirrelminator

I have this obsession with squirrels. I get "crazy eyes" when I see one and I make a horribly high-pitched cry. My boyfriend, Oscar doesn't seem too interested in squirrels. In New York City, the squirrels enjoy taunting me. Little do they know, I'm learning how to climb.

Here's what happened:

Oscar and I were happily walking and minding our own business when...

I heard the chattering sounds of a busy squirrel. I couldn't help but look up.

Evil, in a furry suit, stared back at me.

I circled the tree, barked, whined, and I got the "crazy eyes".

At that moment, I wished I could grow as tall as a giraffe. But my wish didn't come true, so Nina had to drag me away from the tree.

The end,
Franny

The Runs

I've been sick for a few days. I started vomiting and now I have diarrhea aka the runs. Nina's not sure if it's something I ate, something I may have picked-up, or just a regular tummy ache. I went to see the Doc and we brought some of my poop in a bag for testing.


I'm on a bland diet which isn't so bad and is actually quite tasty. I am also taking some medications that will hopefully make me better. I hate being sick.


Gotta go (potty),
Franny

Car Accident

This morning, like every morning, we all got in the car to leave for work. Nina started the car to begin the defrosting process (because even in California the weather is cold and the car gets icy). While she was waiting for the car to warm-up, she remembered she forgot her cell phone in the house, so she got out of the car to get her phone and as she closed the door, Margot tried to jump out.

Poor little Margot got hit by the car door. She cried and whined and we were very worried. She wouldn't eat, was very depressed and didn't want to walk.

The Doc took some x-rays to make sure nothing was broken or fractured.

The Doc said she has a clean bill of health! She's sore and bruised but with a little rest and TLC, she should be back to her normal self in a jiffy.

Margot is getting lots of hugs, kisses, tasty food and way too much attention if you ask me... Are you superstitious? I think this all happened because Margot's 1st Birthday is this Friday... Friday the 13th!

Drive safely,
Franny

Pens and Pencils

I have a history of pen chewing. It's a bad habit I really need to kick. Nina has provided me with many chewing alternatives, like a nice selection of flavorful Nylabones and toys. To my dismay, she rarely gives me bully sticks and hooves. She says I finish the bully sticks too quickly and that the hooves are stinky and gross, especially when I hide them under her pillows and under the covers. Anyway, I just enjoy chewing!

I didn't do it!!! Err... maybe I did.

The stains on my ear? They're not stains from the pen I chewed, they're.... they're... my new tattoos!

Do you like my new tattoos of amoebas? Aren't they lovely?

Maybe if Nina stopped using pens and pencils, we wouldn't be in this predicament...

Yours truly,
Franny